I have recently been reminded that despite all of Kaseys problems- it could always be worse. I need to be thankful that things are not any worse.
You see, I will admit that there are times when I find myself jealous of other kids with her birth defect. Jealous because their levels of function are better, jealous because even if their level is the same as hers they are doing more, jealous because they do not have a shunt, jealous because their parents seem to hold it all together better than I do. I do not know how normal this is because honestly I have not ever actually asked anyone because its something about myself that I am not likely to go blabbing about. However, recently I have realized that I do have a lot to be thankful for.
I am thankful that Kasey can at least use her upper body. I’m thankful that she can feed herself. Thankful that her life expectancy is pretty normal. Thankful that she was born in a time when medicine can deal with any health problems she has- if she was born 50 or 100 years ago she might not have survived. Thankful that her mental capacity is typical for her age- even if she has the potential to have a learning disorder. Thankful that she is not (usually) in any pain. Thankful that so far she has only had three surgeries- there are many children with SB who have had more. Thankful that she does not need a trach or a g-tube and that she can talk.
It is hard to remember all of this daily when I am dealing with everything. When I’m cathing her, or dealing with trying to get her bowels to cooperate with me, when I’m constantly worrying about a fever or her leg looking a little puffy. Sure, she has a long list of health issues: Spina Bifida, Hydrocephelus, Chiari Malformation, Osteoporosis and Reflux. However, it could be longer. I just have to remember that and remind myself of that every day.
Maybe we should all try to remember this each and every day. Maybe our lives would be a bit brighter if we thought about how much worse it could be.