Day 5 of 30

5: A time I struggled with looking up

This one is remarkably easy. Although there are multiple times that I struggled with being positive and happy- the hardest time in my life was after my mother passed away. April 14, 2007. It was about a month before my high school graduation. After my mom died I really felt like nothing I was doing was good enough for my dad. I realize now that he was probably dealing with his grief in his own way but as a 17 year old it was really hard to realize and understand that. After I graduated high school I started drinking and doing other things I really shouldn’t have been doing. I was heading down a bad path but I think in my mind I had hit a point where- if being “perfect” wasn’t pleasing my dad, then why bother? Then 1 semester into college- I got pregnant. I straightened up as soon as I found out. I have often said that my beautiful daughter was my saving grace. She saved me from ruining my life. I often wonder if I would still be around if it wasn’t for my beautiful girl!